Dangerous Dan Thoughts and musings on the world

Do check out MRC’s collection of Dan Rather quotes from over the years. Most show Rather’s leftward bias, which isn’t new. My favorite section didn’t have much to do with bias… the Ratherisms, which I happily reproduce below. As absurd as they are, I kinda like them, but I get the feeling that Rather sat around thinking up the dumb phrases to say instead of making them up off the cuff. Anyway, here they are:

Rather’s Ridiculous Ratherisms

“This presidential race is hotter than the Devil’s anvil.”
“This presidential race, you know, it’s been crackling like a hickory fire for at least the last hour and a half.”
“Situation in Ohio would give an aspirin a headache.”
“John Kerry, his lead is as thin as turnip soup.”
— CBS’s election coverage, November 2, 2004.

“Bush has had a lead since the very start, but his lead is now shakier than cafeteria Jell-O.”
“If you’re in the kitchen, Mabel, come back in the front room: 145 for Gore, 130 for Bush, 270 needed to win.”
“The presidential race, still hotter than a Laredo parking lot.”
— During CBS News coverage of election night 2000.

“In New Hampshire, closest Senate race in the country, this race between Dick Swett and Bob Smith is as hot and tight as a too small bathing suit on a too long car ride back from the beach.”
— During CBS News 1996 election night coverage.

“A lot of tight Senate races out there. Let’s hit those chips with another dash of salsa, Ed Bradley.”
— During CBS News 1994 election night coverage.

“I think you’re more likely to see the Pope ride through this room on a giraffe.”
— On the possibility of a CBS News cable channel, to the Philadelphia Inquirer‘s Gail Shister, February 18, 1997.

“Mr. Clinton was about as relaxed as a pound of liver.”
— Referring to his earlier interview with Bill Clinton, January 20, 1993 CBS This Morning.

“Stay with CBS now for more news, including: Is there a pall over the mall as holiday shoppers think small?”
— Previewing an upcoming segment on the CBS Evening News, December 2, 1991.